The Wild and Wacky Water Caper

Episode 2: What About Me?

"I get that you all have a thing that you're absolutely have to do right now, but what am I supposed to do?"

Right. Richard. That's why Cynthia stayed in the office overnight.

"Okay, I'm not exactly an expert at these situations, and Cynthia has her reasons for not talking much about it, but I'd imagine that you're probably fine to just stay in the building and try and avoid windows. Might be best to avoid the first floor. Best yet, maybe just hang out in the office. I'll try and make sure that someone gets you some lunch, and if you'd like, I'll have them give you some magazines as well to help keep away the boredom." It's not the best thing ever, but I didn't know what else I could offer.

"Thank you." Richard nodded in appreciation. "I know it's a lot for you guys to handle, doing your jobs and trying to keep me safe and all, but I really appreciate everything you're trying to do. Man, I really wish things could just be normal, but what's normal when most of your town disappears for a day, and then you find out that your wife actually works for the police? Actually, come to think of it, what's normal about a mustard factory? Really, just a factory dedicated to making mustard? What a silly cover-up. That can't be real."

"Hey, I'll have you know that actually was a real job, or at least it was at first anyway. And yes, there really is an entire factory dedicated to the creation of the best mustard in existance. We take great pride in the mustard that we make, thank you very much. In fact, I'll have you know that our mustard has won an award every year, that's just how good we are." Cynthia seemed just a little bit upset about the whole ordeal.

"Our mustard? You still say our mustard? You haven't worked there since 2009 and you still claim their mustard as yours? Man, you must have really been attached to that place. Also, you, um... rather, that place has only received an award every year because it gives itself an award every year," Richard retorted.

Cynthia was really upset now.

"Okay, firstly, I haven't worked there since 2010, not 2009. The conference dates are off by one year for some crazy reason, you know how time works here. Secondly, FrillerWorks gave itself an award this year too, so now what do you have to say about that?"

Oh man, I really hate to get into the middle of a married couple's argument, but... well...

"Look guys, I'm sure this argu... uh... peaceful conversation is really important, but one person's died already, and we really need to make sure that even more people don't die, so let's put this... lovely chat on hold for now and go out and try and figure out what's going on."

"Hey," Cynthia smirked, "Aren't I supposed to be the one that keeps you from getting too far off track?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I think that's the way it generally works out."

After Cynthia and I had left the office and closed the door, I had one thing that I shouldn't have let slip out. "Didn't FrillerWorks give itself an award as a satirical statement attempting to make fun of someone else who had just previously given themself an award?"



"Also, Richard doesn't really like to read much, so he wouldn't have noticed that anyway. How else do you think I've been able to hide who I am from him when it's already been published in the town's newspaper? Even then, he's not one much for news, so he wouldn't have figured out that it was making fun of Obama anyway."

Oh. Richard doesn't like to read. Ix-nay on the agazines-may then.

"May I at least say one useful thing?" I asked, somewhat shyly.

"Okay. ONE."

"Let's go get some lunch. We can cool down a little bit and use the time to plan out exactly what it is we're going to do anyway."

"Fine. You win. We'll go get some lunch."

Hey! This chapter doesn't end in such a cliffhanger like attitude. It's about time, except now I feel a little empty. I almost kind of like complaining about cliffhangers. What's wrong with me?

Oh well, here's Chapter 3 .

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