Not Russian Enough

Chapter 4: Maple Goodness

Dear Diary:

I really don't understand why Maple Syrup is soooo good with coffee.

It really is good though.

Okay, it's finally time to call him now.

I picked up the phone again, this time it being a lot easier. With my head clear, I dialed the number and connected with my now-Russian friend.

"I..." The phone went silent for a minute. "The number on the caller ID. It's really you? This is an American number, you speak English, right?"

I knew exactly what to reply with.

"Better English than Chinese! Haven't learned Russian yet though."

"It really is you! It's been so long. I... I... How are you doing? What's been going on? I've been very curious about things since I left. I... Just... I... Wow! I... I can't believe that it's really you! [Redacted by police order] So... what does this mean? [Redacted] The task? I mean, you're calling, right? So what is going on? Really, how have things been?"

At this point, I was slightly worried about all that I'd have to catch Jaseph up on. I sat there pondering what to say, and what news I could break to him. I got a headache thinking too much about it again, but another sip of coffee cleared that up.

"Did..." Jaseph paused again for a second. Carrying the entire conversation must have been tiring for him too. "Did I just hear you take a sip of coffee? Was that coffee?"

"You know it." Finally I spoke, having not even uttered the word 'Hello' yet. "Only the best stuff with extra maple syrup!"

"So you're still on the caffeine habit then. I suppose you have trouble thinking without it?" I somehow didn't expect him to sound so disappointed.

"Yes. Is that bad? I mean, I know that caffeine is bad for you, but... like... you sound like you expected me to have quit or something." Very puzzling.

"Well, I guess... I um... I don't know. Somehow I thought that maybe you had quit. It's fine though. You do what you have to. So then, what brings you to call me?" He still sounded really disappointed.

"I have a friend who has learned some stuff they're not supposed to have learned. His wife... well... I guess it puts him in danger to know that his wife works for the police because of some reason, so I figured you know the brain pretty well. You still do mind control stuff, right? Can you make custom NAVAL implants?"

"Well, I'll need a little more information, but it may be possible. Just out of curiosity, what would be his wife's name?"

"Cynthia Walerston"

"Cynthie... Cynthie... Cynthie Walerst.. Cynthie Whales..." Man, what is he so stuck on? "Cynthie Whales... AH YES! Cynthie Whalestoe! The woman! Yes! I know her... in a matter of speaking. Has she ever gone by Ann Source?"

"Well, not on purpose as far as I know, but yes, for some reason at one point I thought her name was Ann Anonymous Source, but I thought that was an accident." I mean... really, it was an accident, right? Like, she wasn't actually trying... I misconceived that, right? I thought... well now I'm confused.

"Anonymous! That's... that's creative! Yes, old Annie would do something like that. Oh, that is creative. Wow... so you still... that would be right. Yeah, we um, we do go through names sometimes. Oh yeah, did I tell you I'm no longer Jaseph? I go by Yosef now. Sounds much more crazy evil, right?"

"That's pretty neat, but my mind's still blown by the fact that you know her, you can't even say Cynthia right, and that you know her as Annie Source. This makes completely wild." Yes. That is what I said to him. Those words. This makes completely wild. What does that even mean? Those aren't sense make words.

"Oh right, yeah. You'd better take another sip of that coffee before your head blows right out the window. You take a good sip, and then you tell me the name of her husband." You know, I never noticed before how much his voice sounds like Augur from that one TV show. You know, the dude with the silent x at the end of his name? Somehow I never noticed that before.

Anyway, big sip of coffee. I hope that Geordi brings me another. I don't know if this is enough coffee for this conversation.

"His name is Richard Walerston, although thinking about it, I find it weird that you wouldn't know that if you already knew her by her married name, or some weird variant of it."


Yeah I find that weird too. I found it so weird that I decided that this would be a good break point so we can take some time to process that weird little bit. Um... come back later to find out how our russian friend has one piece of information, but somehow not the dependant piece. That was weird said. How would you even properly communicate that thought anyway? Join us next time!

Oh yeah. Since I'm breaking the chapter and not the detective himself, don't be surprised if there's no diary entry starting the next chapter. It'd be weird to write a diary entry in the middle of a phone conversation anyway.

Hey, try reading these too:

Not Russian Enough Chapter 5: Questionable Title

Stuff never ceases to get weirder. Join in to hear the second half of the phone call, and learn how our favourite russian knows Cynthia's last name.

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