The 2010 New Years Article
The year 2010: The start of a new decade. Just ten years ago we were worried about the end of the world. It was either going to end, or amazing new technology was going to appear and become as common as carpet. It didn't happen. "But," you might say, "but there is amazing new technology." Well, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the stuff that was super cool. I'm talking about stuff that was supposed to be invented in the year 2000 but got pushed off until this year. I'm talking about: (in an awesome deep eerie cool adjective-having announcers voice) The Stuff That Is To Come. (Deep water sfx and eerie underwater sounds).So here we are. We have a bad economy, but that's okay because Obama is president and since he is black, everything's gonna change. Once that happens, everything will be better and we'll have all sorts of cool stuff. We've got a bit to look forward to since in order for this stuff to actually happen, we'll have to have a better economy. These are promises that I'm clinging to. They will happen.
You may still be wondering exactly what I'm talking about. Well, now you can be let out of the dark, because here's the list:
- Personal jet packs
- Super cool chips that allow one to control computers with their
mind.
- NAVAL
implants
(AND YOU WANT THEM TOO!)
- Personal robots to clean the entire house and not just vaccuum
and mow the lawn. It's a start, but we're not there.
- Holographic TV.
- Internet helmets (you put the helmet on and you browse the net
with your mind).
- Teleporters.
These things better exist by the end of the year (ESPECIALLY THE NAVAL IMPLANTS, THEY NEED COMMON Получить морские имплантат сейчас или я буду ты умрешь.) If they don't, then I will write an article about it. Yeah, that'll show em.