jawsh.mccullaugh.com -- Maybe paper bag man's got
something experimental. Just a thought...
The Bad Guy:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
or:
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jawsh.mccullaugh.com -- You better watch out or he'll get you
good.
The Bad Guy
Part 1: The detective dude
I was sitting down in my office when
suddenly there was a knock at the door. Naturally, I answered the
door, as people often do when they hear a knock. It's just part
of the way society has conditioned us. We act based on the ways
that we see others act. Certain customs have grown to become part
of our culture because of this very thing. Kind of like how we
say "bless you" after someone sneezes. It's just our
nature. The way we act based on how others act.
Anyways, someone knocked on my door and I answered
it. I said, "Who's there?" as I often do.
"Ann Anonymous Source," was the reply. Ann Anonymous Source, what a weird
name, I thought. Who would name their child anonymous. At
least it was their middle name.
"Come on in, Ms. A. Source," I said.
I heard a small giggle and the voice say, "You're so
funny." I often have that effect on people. They think I'm
funny, even when I don't do anything that I can see as funny.
It's very strange. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Speaking of wondering, I wonder what it would be like to be able to
speak chinese fluently. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Anyway, I decided that I should probably get back to speaking english,
and so I did.
I said, "What can I do for you?"
"I was walking down Blugivard Lane with my husband
and we saw a suspicious man. We decided to keep walking and we
entered the closest store. From that store we looked out the
window, since something seemed to be not quite right. Then, the
guy went into a run down house and came out with a paper bag and a
smirk on his face." Ann went on with a few more details about the
guy. At least, I think she did. Anyway, I decided that I'd
go ahead and take the case. Man, "take the case." That
sounds so... official. Like taking a briefcase. I should
get one of those.
"Do you know where I could get a good briefcase?" I
asked Ann.
"Why does that matter?" she inquired. Inquired, that's another good
professional word.
"Well, you see," I explained, "A briefcase would be
a great way to stun the suspicious individual. He sounds like the
type of man who would be impressed by a good briefcase. If I
could distract him with an excellent looking briefcase, I could easily
start a conversation with him. Once I get him talking, it will be
a lot easier to gather background information about him. Then,
solving the case will be like slicing tomatoes. Slicing nice,
soft tomatoes."
"Wow, you're pretty creative," Ann said.
That's what my teachers always told me in elementry school when I would
tell them about my home. Elementry school was really weird.
Everyone said the craziest things back then.
"Well, thank you for the tips, if you could just
leave a written report of everything you saw with my secretary, I think
we can get to the bottom of this," I said. Written reports are so
helpful. It helps me keep track of the case. Man, I gotta
get me a good briefcase.
Time
to check out: Part 2
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