At FrillerWorks, we're usually pretty indifferent to what's going on, and don't usually jump in on the sensationalist bs news bandwagon, but THIS IS DIFFERENT! People JUST DON'T KNOW, and even the government and SCIENTISTS JUST DON'T KNOW, so it's really, really important that we remember to PANIC PANIC PANIC! As such, we're joining in on the PANIC and making sure to shove this bullshit^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H important information right IN YOUR FACE WHERE IT BELONGS! Trying to go to an entertainment site to just relax for a little bit? TOO BAD! Trying to just forget this nonsense... uh... absolute essential truth for just a little bit? TOO BAD! We are the media, and it's our job to frighten you.

If you decide to go out of the house for a breath of fresh air, YOU'RE A MURDERER! How dare you? You absolute imbucile. How could you do such a selfish thing. You're supposed to be distancing yourself from society you horrendous twit.

Thinking about talking to your friends while at home? Whatever happens, don't call them on the phone or text them. Don't use the same chat sites you've always used before. Because CoronaVirus(tm) is different and new and has never happened ever before it's absolutely important that you now switch all your communications to Zoom Video chat. Make sure that your camera is set up, and that you're well lit. Wouldn't want any privacy in your own home after all.

It's important to remember that this is worse than the flu, and any statistics that show otherwise are harmful and should not be taken into consideration. Remember, FACTS ARE INVALID IF THEY GO AGAINST THE AGENDA. Don't read unapproved things. CoronaVirus(TM) is a whole new thing and so it's bad to listen to people who aren't certified to say things.

We need to space people out, and so because of this it's important to shorten the hours that the store is open. Think you'll just shop at night when there's less people in the store to lessen exposure? Well I bet you would, YOU MURDERER! Don't you know that the only way to stop the spread of CoronaVirus(R) is to close all but one entrance, have everyone shop at around the same scheduled time, and have everyone crowd at the entrance of the store while they're admitted entrance very slowly? How else can we keep people spaced out if we don't pack them together in the store? DON'T QUESTION THE LOGIC.

It's absolutely important that you PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!!1!!! The CoronaVirus((c) 2020 all rights reserved) is less likely to attack someone with a strong immune system, and so you need to keep healthy. Peace of mind is important to your health, and so you need to keep your stress levels down. Don't let yourself be distraught with questions, instead just trust what you're told. What we're told to do is PANIC and GO WILD WITH INSANITY, and so we should not stress our minds by questioning this. PANIC FOR YOUR HEALTH!

The most important thing to remember though is: JUST TRUST YOUR GOVERNMENT. There's absolutely no data on this very new thing that's never happened before, and so we can't know what to do. Since there's no data, it's important to remember that YOUR GOVERNMENT KNOWS WHAT'S BEST so JUST DO WHAT THE MEDIA SAYS. Else, YOU'RE A MURDERER.

Or maybe this is all a bunch of crap.