The Bad Guy:
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 Part 5: The Christmas Episode
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  **You don't wanna read all this crap!**

 Here. Let me save you some time and [jump you down to the
tl;dr](#tldr).

 Seriously, you don't wanna read all this crap. Just click the link.

  There I was. That's a good way to start a paragraph. It has a nice
ring to it. It sort of sounds like something that would begin a movie.
I think that it would be a great way to begin a movie. If this were a
movie, I'd begin it by saying, "There I was." Then I'd say, "Right
there in my office. I was sitting there eating a bagel, because that's
what I do. Bagels sure are a nice way to start the day, especially if
you put peanut butter on them. Peanut butter goes good on a lot of
things, like bananas. Peanut butter is great for hypoglycemic people
because it's got protein in it. That's a good thing. Very good...
Triangle." Triangle's a nice way to end a sentence I think.

 Anyway, I started off to get a briefcase. I was just walking along
when I looked up in the sky and I thought I saw an alien in the
clouds. *That's kinda weird,* I thought. *I wonder why aliens would be
in the clouds.* Maybe it's an secret plot to take over the earth, or
steal all of our thoughts. Yeah, that's it. Of course, maybe they've
already taken everything we have to know. But why would they still be
lingering around? Oh well.

 It was taking awhile to get there, so I started running. Running is a
very tiring exercise. I'll bet one could get a bit of good exercise
from running. Maybe I could start tracking all of my exercise. I could
put it into a log of sorts. I'll bet it would be a lot easier to
remember if I had a class in which I had to do that. Well, maybe not.
I'd probably forget to do it and end up having to take the class
twice. Somehow, I get the feeling that it might be better the second
time around. Yes, I'd probably look forward to going to class each
time the second time around. Just my luck I'd probably break my arm
and not be able to do much though. Except run.

 That running was getting a bit tiring though so I decided to slow
down and cool off. Caves are generally pretty cool. Maybe I could go
caving. It'd probably be pretty muddy though and full of hole punchers
dangling from ceilings. The hole punchers could be used to punch holes
in your cavers card, and once you get enough holes, you could get a
loaf of bread. The bread would probably be kinda moldy though since
it'd be old. I assume it'd be old since it'd be free. And left in a
cave.

 I ended up stopping by the DVD store on the way. I found a DVD there
that was a monologue by Jim Crowkins. There's only one other person I
know that's a Jim Crowkins fan, so I picked up a copy for her. Um...
Triangle.

 I had to cross a bridge to get where I was going. Whilst I was
crossing the bridge, I happened to see a golf ball in the water. So,
now I've got a golf ball. It's a real nice golf ball. Somehow,
whenever I see that golf ball, it brings back good memories. Good
memories once I weed out one certain detail. Some guy that could have
been somewhere else, that's all. I hope he's not reading this.

 Later on, I decided to stop and get some lunch. I stopped by some
generic place and ended up with rice. I wonder why there's almost
always rice for lunch there. I mean, is it healthy to eat so much
rice? I guess the Chinese do it, so it must be good. Maybe this is
like eating Chinese. One would think that it might not be very
vegetarian to eat Chinese, but it's okay for veggies cause tofu is
vegetarian. Do you have any idea how hard that was to include in a
non-humorous way? Makes you wonder why I did it or if there's any
certain theme to all of these ramblings this time.

 So here's the end of this journey. The briefcase shop. It was a good
journey getting here. A lot more events that happened that I'd like to
put in here and for some reason, I wish the journey would have taken a
bit longer. But here I am. Now, I'm going inside to get the briefcase.
Never thought that it'd be such a weird feeling receiving it.
Receiving the briefcase is supposed to be a happy moment, but it's a
sad moment. I wish that I could go back and relive the journey to
coming here. There were so many great things on the journey but I
guess that I have to move on now. I've got to find the man with the
paper bag. I've got to keep moving on. I think that I'll put a penguin
sticker on the briefcase though. (Yet another good memory.)

  **tl;dr:** He gets the breifcase from the store. That's all you need
to know. Now [jump to part six](badguy6) before you read even more
crap you don't need or want to know. After all, we still need to catch
the guy with the paper bag.

   ***AUTHORS NOTE:** The briefcase originally wasn't supposed to be
symbolic of anything. However, in this episode, receiving the
briefcase is symbolic to the end of the fall semester. I wanted to
make receiving the briefcase a happy moment, but couldn't. Not after I
thought about the direction this episode was heading. Since this
episode was dedicated to Jennifer, I wanted to make it the one where
he receives the briefcase. Receiving the briefcase was supposed to be
a happy thing, because hanging out with really good friends such as
Jennifer is a happy thing. But somehow, I just had to ruin it. Don't
take that last sentence too far, I'm just talking about ruining the
briefcase thing. Also, not everything that the detective did in this
story were things that specifically I did. Actually, I wasn't the one
who found the golf ball. And really, this is the only episode in which
any of the events are events that are part of my life. Just the
character is supposed to be based off of me. Anyway, in case you're
wondering why this episode is dedicated to Jennifer, maybe you should
have a look at this [main page](jennpage.html). So far it's the only
one I've saved.

 **Update:** Okay, so this is a really late update, but I just figured
I should put this in here. The Jennifer girl that was mentioned in
this article (and several others) actually ended up being my
girlfriend for a little while. Anyway, quite a while back it was
discovered that things really couldn't work out that way, and so we've
parted ways. Just putting this in here now so as to save from
questions later. And yes, I will be keeping these pages here, as they
mark a big part of my life.

 Read [Part 4](badguy4), or read [Part 6](badguy6) because we've still
got to catch the guy with the paper bag.*  ==============
 |FrillerWorks| <- Because we can't always write good chapters.
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