List of Ridiculous Expectations for President Elect Donald Trump

Well, crap. I did one of these for Barrack Obama when he was president, therefore I guess I'd better do one of these for Donald Trump for when he was ... is president.

You see, here's the problem. When I made one of these for Obama, we were approaching the mystical year of 2010 which already had all sorts of ridiculous predicitions made for it. Half of the things I said in that article were actual predicitions that I saw in movies or read in magazines. (Not to be confused with MAGAzines.) As for now, though, we're not approaching any such year.

I'm not sure exactly what to put here. I mean, he's already got his own list and if he's expecting to do half of that stuff in the time frame that he's listed, then he must not really know the speed of the government. I mean, where's our jetpacks?

Please don't sue me. Something something humor something parody something fair use, right?

What I'm getting at is that it's really hard to figure out what I should write here. Oh sure, there's plently of material, but it gets kind of bland when you consider the amount of ridiculousness we've become accustomed to this year, coupled with all the jokes that have been overdone already. I could write a list of completely off the wall stuff, but it wouldn't be as funny, seeing as he's not pushed the whole change bit as much.

I'm not trying to make a politically charged article here, really I'm not. The whole idea is just to make fun of the whole big mess, but the mess is so big that any joke that can be written can no longer be distinguished from the truth. I mean, if this was two years ago and I told you that in 2016, we'd have one candidate talking about throwing the other one in jail, you'd say "Haha, no one would go that far." On the other side, if I told you that the other candidate's staff was involved in a satanic dinner and there was recorded evidence of the fact, but there were actual news anchors telling people to just ignore that because they weren't supposed to know said information, and many people actually did and did so loudly, you'd say, "Dude, you sure you're alright? I mean, that sounds a bit off the deep end," and you'd be right for saying so. I mean, we just lived through straight up madness. We even had a third party candidate fake a heart attack on TV to make a point.

Seriously, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whXAKRE9n3Y

We are living in crazy times, and for as ridiculous as Trump can make himself sound, I don't think it's possible for him to beat just how ridiculous this year has been. There were colleges providing rooms for grown adults to literally cry about the election results, for crying out loud. (Heh, heh, get it? The rooms were for crying out loud? Get it? Get it? Man, I'm clever.) I mean, one could say that his promises were alrealy quite ridiculous, but once again, not trying to write a politically charged article here.

I guess I did actually title this article "List of Ridiculous Expectations for President Elect Donald Trump", so I should at least provide some sort of list. I'm not trying to get accused of FAKE NEWS or anything, (and no, I'm not gonna get started on that topic here. Perhaps at another time and another place, but not here and now). Where was I? Oh yeah, the list:

  • Jetpacks still why not
  • Um... I dunno, maybe eat a burger? That's not ridiculous, but whatever.
  • Obligatory NAVAL implants listing THAT TOTALLY NEEDS TO HAPPEN FOR THE GOOD OF ALL
  • Tacos for everyone? Sure, tacos for everyone.
  • Ridiculous suggestions for this list

I'm probably not gonna make a followup for this list. If you actually do all the stuff, then sure, maybe I'll do a thank you thing or something, but I don't really see a reason to write a thing complaining cause you didn't eat a burger publically. Besides, that's totally a thing for the completely reliable, never ridiculous, mainstream media to do.

Oh, WAIT! I've got one!!! I've got one!!!

  • Do a televised boxing match with Joe Biden