Lame Jokes

So, um, I don't know why I'm even putting these up here. I'll probably just ruin my reputation and everyone will think I'm a boring person with no real sense of humor. But, that is not true. I am the funniest person in the world. I just don't feel like proving it right now. Yeah, that's it. In fact, I'm going to un-prove it. Then through the law of reverse positives you all will think that I am hilarious. And that that law exists.

What did the tree say after the storm?
Boy, I sure do feel winded.

You know you're a progammer when someone asks you, "What's 1 and 1?" and you say "1".

(You also know you're a programmer if you would write that last question down as "What's 1 AND 1?".)

What did the pig say to the cow?
Oink.

What did the cow say to the pig?
Sorry, I don't speak pig.

What is a pirates favorite way to backup his files?
tARRRballs.

What is the natural log of 1?
However many logs it takes a man to build his cabin.

What part of history really likes to be scary?
"Boo"jamin Franklin (Benjamin, Boojamin, Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHA lol)

What does the excited train say?
w00t! w00000000000t!

Why was the fanfiction useless in battle?
Because it wasn't cannon!

Why couldn't I find any clothes in my closet?
Because they were in the state of Washing-ton.

Who was the original hipster?
Adam. He was human before it was mainstream.

(Commentary from present me looking at the this page written by past me: "These jokes are absolutely horrible! What was I thinking! Also, this HTML is even worse than that which MSWord generates (last I knew). How stupid was I? Terrible!"

These may be the lamest jokes that I've come up with, but Snook Draddots (Samual Stoddard, my inspiration for this site) has got some really bad jokes over at RinkWorks . (Nope, not affiliated, I just enjoy his site and thought I'd pass it along.)

I may, however; be somewhat convinced that this mess is the worst thing to ever have touched the land of lame jokes.