The Good Ideas Man
The Good Ideas Mas is back! And by that I mean that I ran across my old tumblr account and decided to copy it's contents here, after copying over the engine from the quick stories page, which should have no reprocussions whatsoever. Maybe I'll even add some new good ideas later.
Good Idea #547024
Go up to a girl and ask her, "Hey, are you from Wisconsin? Cause I know a guy from Wisconsin." Then, when she blankly says "no" run away crying while yelling out "They never give me the good pick up lines!"
Good Idea #689015
Whenever somebody asks you how something ordinary feels (such as living at your own place), answer like it's a normal thing, "Like pudding".
Good Idea #789052
Build up a great sense of humor. Laugh at every joke. One day, forget you ever had a sense of humor. Learn to loathe it, but soon forget that humor is even a concept. Get no jokes that people tell. Then, remember the humorous past and re-visit it by reading a jokes website. Don't laugh, but just point at the screen and yell, "You gave my daughter rabies!" swearing to never eat soup again.
Good Idea #834059
Stand with your back against the wall in a populated place (such as a library). Shift your eyes back and forth frequently and when someone walks by say, "Oh I'm not suspicious, I'm just standing here." That'll save them some time in ruling out who it was if a crime should happen.
Good Idea #916024
Go to a plastic surgeon and get your mentum decimally multiplied. Then, when someone asks for your attention, assume they meant to spell it atenchin, take off your scarf, and say, "no, but you may look."
(This one may be lost on some.)
Good Idea #410193
Make a pie crust (in a pie pan of course). Fill the crust with tomato sauce and whatever else you want to. In a seperate bowl, make another pie crust, but make this one cheesy. Form it as a top crust and put it in the oven. After it's baked, serve it, and when people ask "Wh... wh... what even is this?", say, "Why-a, it's-a pizza pie-a!"
Good Idea #320625
Always be eating cabbage. Whenever someone asks you why you're always eating cabbage, look them in the face and sternly say, "This ain't cabbage, it's thick man lettuce." Then turn your head away from them and walk away dissappointed and disgusted.
Good Idea #230928
Grow your very own pumpkin patch. Grow the pumpkins up nice and big. Invite everyone over for Halloween. Hide a bunch of candy in the pumpkin patch. Send the kids out for a candy hunt, and then when they're all in the pumpkin patch drop a bunch of sour cream on them so that you'll have made your very own sour patch kids at home.
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Beware this link. These jokes are really, really lame. They're pretty bad. You've been warned.